Facing the Truth.

I’m not sure you’ve ever been exposed to reality as often as you should have. You have had an illusion of what life should be like, and sometimes resort to the fantasy in your head rather than take on reality headfirst.

You feel tricked by the world, but you wouldn’t listen to anybody trying to save yourself from this made-up story in your head in the first place. The only person to blame is yourself. Nobody has put on any expectations for you since the beginning, but you feel like everyone expects more from you.

There’s not an easy way to have a conversation with you about something difficult because it suddenly becomes an attack. Lord forbid that you get called out for your bullshit because all of a sudden, you can feel the inside of your body just shut everything down. You don’t know how to act when the truth, even some partial truth, hits you like an 18 wheeler going 80 on the highway.

You look for ways to justify it because that’s what you’ve resorted to the majority of your life, even when you were a kid. Someone else had to have been at fault for this behavior you learned. Placing blame on yourself seemed unfair at a certain level.

Maybe it’s time to start facing the music. The people that have wanted to help you don’t have to be there, and you can’t expect them to get you out of everything in each difficult moment. Life doesn’t work that way. You can’t consider yourself to be a good friend and run away in the signs of the first conflict. Sure, you read a lot of self-help books, but you have to keep in mind that you bought these intending to help yourself, not lecturing everyone else.

It’s time to have an essential conversation with the person in the mirror. You have to hold yourself accountable and quit lying to yourself every time something gets difficult. Maybe it’s time to face the truth now and then.