I’ve cried over heartbreaks before. I’ve only ever cried for breaking a heart once. That’s how I knew I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I’ve learned a few things in my 28 years of experience on this Earth. One of those things is that life will throw so many curveballs at you once you’re getting ready to level up. Those curveballs are thrown just to check you to see if you’re ready or not. Life isn’t always easy. It might be easy for others, but not for everyone. I think it’s been one of those things that once you learn it, you can’t ever ignore it again.

I was 21 years old when I first realized I was making a mistake. I’m not going to act like I didn’t know I was making a mistake, to begin with, I knew what it was. I was leaving because I felt like I hadn’t made enough mistakes. Sounds pretty stupid, right? That’s probably a little bit of privilege, and it’s something that stays on my mind all the time. Working together as a team and making mistakes would’ve been one thing, but I decided to let my partner go and make mistakes all on my own. I completely ruined a good thing just to see if I could fuck things up and find something just as good or better. That doesn’t always exist, though.

I learned that back again at about age 26. I thought I was so much smarter than I was. I thought that maybe I was making a mistake finalizing things and that I was at a different level. Little did I know back then that I was messing up again. Strike two. A couple of years later, I can’t help but shake my head. Do you know how many times I’ve prayed to have a sign come down to me, and I still ignore everything that comes across my path? I’m sure everyone can do this and start to pay attention to the signs, but in hindsight, there have been more so-called coincidences in the tough times in your life. There’s almost always a common trend when you look back. For me, it’s her. She’s still there when I needed her.

Maybe it’s time I stop ignoring the signs and start paying attention to all the coincidences going on. Perhaps these coincidences are the signs I need.