Today I write with a heavy heart.

I’ve mentioned it before, but I will say it one more time.
I have not done enough or done my part to process change in this world.
Since I could remember, I have said I am on this Earth for some reason, and that justice would be something that I would fight for at all times.
Maybe it didn’t always mean that I would be a part of the legal system, but I would figure out a way to process justice and equality of some sort.
I can’t sit here and tell you that I have never thought of becoming a lawyer to take care of all the people who had nobody else to take care of them.
I failed because I was selfish. I wanted something for myself, like a family and a wife.
Now, what am I left with but false promises?
I’ve married the idea that I wanted a wife and kids, but it’s nowhere near.
I got lazy.
I have the privilege of putting it off for the next day.
I can no longer do that while people are out there without that right to be lazy for their justice or their equality.
Evil doesn’t appear to take any days off, especially lately.
Yet I’m here writing on a blog site hoping that it might take me somewhere else.
I’ve heard a quote that I can’t recall who wrote that went something like this; “you are born but twice in this life, one the day you are given birth and one the day you find out why.”
I have waited to find out the reason for my life and haven’t put in the action.
It’s like I’m waiting for this reason to just fall into my lap.
Like many people, I have a lot of work to do internally, but that won’t stop me from stepping out of my comfort zone to help those that are in need.
I want to be someone that promotes change and speaks to those that are willing to listen to something outside of their perspective.
I want to be the kid that I was when I was seven and wanted to bring everyone together.
I want there to be a day where I can tell my kids that they have a responsibility to keep fighting the fights that I have because I don’t want my work and the work of many other good people to go to waste.
There has to be a day where I can put in the work to make the change.
Just like Tupac said, “let’s change the way we eat, let’s change the way we live, and let’s change the way we treat each other.”
I want to look back on this letter to myself every day as a reminder as to what I should be doing to move within myself.