I’ll probably keep asking you to go to things.
Not in a pushy way… just the way someone does when they’re hoping for a different ending.
A new page.
Or even just a coffee with no pressure attached.

I’ll keep tossing out invitations and inside jokes like they’re pennies in a wishing fountain.
Concerts.
Walks.
Marathons.
Talks.
Little things.
Big things.
Anything that makes you look at me and say,
“Okay, let’s do it.”
Even if it’s just once.

It’s not that I expect it.
It’s not that I need you to say yes.
It’s just that I’m still trying.

Trying to be better.
Trying to focus.
Trying to soften the chaos in my mind.
The overthinking, the regrets, the noise…I’m still learning how to carry it without letting it run me.
But underneath all of that, on the quietest frequency, there’s this wish:
I wish I could be that person for you.
Not perfect.
Just better.

The kind of better that laughs when you laugh.
The kind of better that listens.
The kind of better that knows how to hold space and stay present when things get messy.
Because they will get messy.
I just don’t want to run anymore.
Not from the mess.
Not from you.

So yeah…maybe I’ll keep joking about “our situation.”
Maybe I’ll keep asking.
Because maybe one day,
you’ll say yes.
Yes to the show.
Yes to the marathon.
Yes to the talk.
Yes to us.

And if not, I’ll still be here.
Still trying.
Still growing.
Still rooting for you…
whether I get to stand beside you or not.