Maybe I’m having an epiphany.

Maybe I could’ve made it work.

I look back and wonder if part of me always felt like I had to match her… to be just as good. As sweet. As loving. As effortlessly kind and open as she was. The kind of person everyone gravitates toward without even trying. She had this glow… a kind of promise that made people believe in her future, in her goodness, in the way she made a room feel lighter just by being in it.

And me? I think I spent too much time measuring myself next to her instead of standing beside her.

Maybe I felt like I had to earn the right to be next to someone like that. And when I didn’t feel like I could, I didn’t fight harder… I folded. I could’ve helped more. I could’ve listened better. Could’ve dropped the pride, the fear, the need to prove myself.

But it felt like a race I was never going to win.

And instead of running with her… or even walking… I sat down and took the exit and let her keep going.

Not because I didn’t love her. But maybe because deep down, I didn’t think I deserved her.

And I wonder now, if that was the biggest lie I ever told myself.