There will come a day in which it will be the last day I do something, and I’m already anticipating all the grief that comes with that.
I made a list to help me remember the things that I once thought about 24/7.
Work – I won’t worry about that one day. I’ll want to go back to work even on a busy Monday after an exhausting weekend.
My parents – I won’t remember the small fights we’ve gotten into. I’ll miss sitting on the couch watching television or sitting around the table playing card games.
My siblings – there was a time I dreaded hanging out with you as a kid. Isn’t that crazy? I was the only guy who had to take his sister or brother everywhere with him. There was a day I would wait for you both to come home and take you to a restaurant we’d never been to because I could drive, and two, I had money for the first time.
You – I’m not sure if there will come a day when I stop thinking of you. At least permanently. Some days are great because you avoid my thoughts altogether. But other days, the thought sits there, wondering if I even cross your mind. I don’t miss you. I guess there’s a difference between missing you and thinking of you. Missing you would mean I want to try again. Can either of our hearts take that? I don’t think so, so maybe I should keep hoping that there will be a day I think of you for the last time. Today isn’t that day.