I’ve always wondered how often I’ve prolonged what’s for me.
I know God puts everything in my path for a reason, and sometimes, some things feel like distractions or tests.
He speaks to me the loudest when I talk to Him more often.
That’s pretty scary.
Because the more faith I have, the more I believe everything happening is happening for a reason.
But I’m only human, so I’m afraid that I’m only paying attention to the signs that I want to pay attention to.
Lately, I haven’t understood much, but here I am. I am trusting the process.
Does God tell the process that I’m trusting it?
I hope so.
Because I feel like I can run out of patience more often than not because it just feels easy.
I want to live my day every day believing that I’m being taken care of, but there are billions of people out there. So it’s easy to question what makes me special, you know?
Maybe that’s ignorant; it probably is, but that’s okay. I’m ignorant a lot of times.

What would you do if you prayed and got your answers right away?
I’m not sure I can do that much easier. I want to enjoy distractions for a little longer. I almost prefer to make mistakes and wait a little longer to learn the lesson I’m supposed to take from it, but it feels like God says, “Nah, nah, not like this,” and that’s cool, but man.

Maybe it’s comparing my situation to everyone else. Maybe I want what others have more often than not, and I’m scared to believe in having much more.

Yeah, maybe that’s what it is. There’s even more out there that is better than what I’ve ever had and ever dreamed of.