It would help if you forgave yourself.

Yes, you.

I know it has never been easy. And the truth of the matter remains that nobody has made it more difficult than yourself. That weight you carry on your shoulders, that’s all because of you.

The beauty of it all is that you have the power to put that weight down. That sounds crazy because your first thought is, who else will carry it?

Have you considered asking others to help you?

Unlikely.

You learned a lot since you were a kid but never learned how to ask for help. Now asking for help makes you feel like a coward. For a moment, think about the bravest thing you’ve ever done. Do you think maybe it was the time you went skydiving? Perhaps it was when you told your parents about your brother’s tough time. You know what it is, though. Right? It was the time you decided to ask for help. It feels strange because you’re not used to it, and no, Christian, you’re not burdening anybody.

You’re a human being. The amount of perfectionism you’ve tried to live up to isn’t healthy. That’s why it hurts you so much when you mess up. You can’t be second. You feel desperation rush through your bones when one thing doesn’t work out, and you know you tried.

It’s scary to ask for help because you can’t do it anymore.

I’m proud of you, though. Do you know that? I’m proud of you because you might’ve done this for Mom and Dad. Maybe you would’ve done it for Her. This time you did it for you, and that’s growth. You’ve owed it to yourself. You owed it to us.

Everything’s going to be okay. Trust me.