I told you I wish I had met you sooner many times.

To be fair, maybe it was not directly to your face. But I said it when I looked into your eyes. I said it when I kissed your forehead. I said it when I stroked your hair. I said it when I hugged you goodbye.

You really never heard me?

I wish I had met you sooner. I think that’s an underrated thing to hear. For me, it just means that I feel so much for you. I have so much feeling for you that I wish I could have you by my side much earlier than I did. If I have one thousand nights looking up at the stars with you, I wish I would have one thousand and forty-five days.

Forever has always seemed like such a long time. Too long of a time, if I’m honest, you make it feel like it’s not enough. So I live with this thought that I should expect the worst because I was told that’s what makes life beautiful.

I might die at 50, but I’d be lucky to have 29 more years with you. And I don’t want to take any of that time for granted. I want to love you longer than I can right now. I want to stop time to get a little bit more, so if I steal even thirty more seconds, I’ll feel like the luckiest guy in the world.

I missed you in my life so bad, and that was before I knew who you were.

So the next time you assume, I meant that I wish I could have saved you or changed how you turned out; understand, I love you more because of all of it. I wish I could have had those extra forty-five days.