Have you ever prayed to God to give you the strength to overcome things that have made you angry?
I have.
I’ve prayed for patience.
I’ve talked to God for hours about how I want to become a better person, almost as if he’d just snap his fingers and make that happen.
I pray as if it would work that way.
It doesn’t.
God has put everything in my life as if it’s already been done. He’s put me through tests to see if this is what I really want.
You want to know how often I’ve asked God to introduce me to “the one?”
I’ve lost track at this point.
God knows I’ve asked him for this many times and during different chapters of my life, yet I know I wouldn’t know what to do if she came up and punched me right in the gut.
I could have already met this woman and would continue to be blinded by all the external powers.
What’s the first thing I want to do when I feel some kind of way? Get my payback. Get better by being better.
Yet, I’ve spent so much time wishing to be kinder. I’ve spent so much time wishing for peace for those in my life.
I’m a walking contradiction.
I’ve wished to enter a villain arc so many times in my life, but it’s time that I hang that sword up.
I’m not asking to step into a hero arc, either, but when I get older and rocking in my sick-ass rocking chair, I want to be proud of being kind. At the end of the day, that’s all I could do.