My thoughts are trapped, and I have no way to get them all out.

My thoughts are trapped, and I’m going crazy, without a doubt.

My thoughts are trapped, and it’s got me dreaming more times than I can count.

I don’t know what it is, I’m certainly not doing it on purpose, but it’s hard for me to entertain the thought of sharing what my mind is on. Where would one start? It’s baby steps, but then that equals small talk and having to catch up, and at some point, you throw your hands up and say fuck it. Is this worth spending 30 minutes talking about only to make a point about something that seems too small with time passing? Usually, the answer is a big ass no.

I don’t know, though; I think I felt a lot better when I wrote more often. I was light on my feet. Now I’m heavy. And no, it’s not in a fat way. At least, I don’t think that’s the case. I feel as good physically as I have in a while, and I’m noticing, and maybe others are noticing too. It’s a good feeling to be told that you’re looking good.

I’m just going to write thoughts that come right off my head in the future.

I want to get my dad and my brother some flowers. Men hardly, if ever, receive flowers while they’re still alive. Even if it is considered unmanly, I want to break that stigma just a little bit.

I want to help people that want to submit documents for immigration to help avoid a crazy amount of fees. I’m not sure where to start with this, though, because I’m pretty sure I could be held liable if I was to do something wrong. So now what?

I want to volunteer a bit more often, but I didn’t want a repeat of 2018 when I started to burn out. I didn’t like who I was back then, and it also became the year that I stopped doing many things like running.

I want to start socializing with my friends more often and finding new friends. If I’m feeling good, I need to surround myself with others who feel good. There’s a whole city out there, and I have no idea what’s there.

My life is starting to feel like I’m going into another season. I can almost hear the music playing, waiting for the big change to start taking effect, and the universe has made it clear that it’s ready for me to take a big leap for change. What the fuck does that mean? I’m not too sure because I’m a coward and won’t speak my intentions out loud because I’m afraid of how much I could deserve whatever is coming to me.

Let’s do this.