How much longer until the next chapter?

If we’re turning pages, it’s probably fair to say so. Because being in my head is the absolute last spot I’d ever want to be in. I can just assume all the things I do wrong, and I can act nonchalant about it in person like everything is fine and dandy, but then I sit with my thoughts for even a second, and it’s right there, telling me the things I’ve done wrong from the beginning. Imagine overthinking but multiply it by 10; that’s how bad it is to be in my head.

That’s why I can’t handle silence. I’ll have to face the fact that I have a lot of internal shit to deal with, and it will not get better until I face it.

Maybe we’re all dealing with the same type of issues. The problem is, for someone who always tries to see a different perspective, I can’t seem to picture what’s in it for the other side. I try, for sure I try, but it isn’t easy.

So, how much longer until the next chapter? I’ve been hesitating on turning to the following chapter, but maybe that’s what I need. I can’t even say with certainty because certainty scares the shit out of me. Surely this will be a moment I’ll remember for the rest of my life, and that should be a beautiful thing, but here we are.

Life is wild.