She never knew what it meant to take control of her life. It was always, “how are you going to make it work?” It was never a question of if she wanted to make it work. There was never an option in her head. She told herself this is where she wanted to be the rest of her life, but if she would’ve known what she knows now, that’d never even be a question. Imagine knowing what’s out there and choosing to stick around. That’s wildly irresponsible, and you know what? It was even more irresponsible that she only thought it irresponsible for everyone besides herself.

Maybe it was time to start making some selfish decisions. Sure, perhaps this isn’t who she ever thought she would be, but a great person once told me that we owe it to ourselves to back out of things when they suddenly aren’t in our best interest. You’re not the same person you were two years ago, and you’re damn right you’re not the same person you were ten years. Why did she feel like she had this crazy pressure to stay the same, though?

She had fallen in love with the feeling of being content. As if everything could stay great forever, and well, that was her first mistake. Call it love, call it silliness, or just flat out call it youth. Whatever it was, there is no going back now. She had a decision to make, and it was right in front of her.

Either you’re chasing happiness where you know you’ll never find it, and you can say you did everything you could to make it work. OR…you just move on. You move on, and you think back on your death bed that, yea, you did everything you could to pursue happiness, and the risk of losing it all made the chase that much better.

She suddenly realized she might be alone for the rest of her life. And that wasn’t the worst thing.