Not to sound dramatic or anything, but I’ve been swimming against the current for what feels like hours now. I’m not sure how much longer I could keep this pace up.

Each time a wave hits me, it covers my face, and I can taste the salt. This feeling can’t be normal.

My arms are going out of pure necessity, but I know I can’t keep this up for much more.

Do you know how difficult it is to sit in the deep end of any body of water and not automatically make an effort to stay above? You’ve seen babies train, and even before they start speaking, you could see them kicking to stay afloat. But I’m practically done at this point.

I’m drowning.

I’m drowning in all of these feelings of excitement, fear, uncertainty. How could a dream make me feel so guilty for wanting something out of all of this? I’m not sure when I signed up for the moment of being responsible for everyone else’s well-being, but if I don’t go out and chase my dream, even if it’s just location-wise, who else will?

No.

I can’t keep doing it. I won’t.

So, all I’m asking is for you to drown with me, even if it’s just a few moments, because, at this point, I could use a little push to keep going.