Maybe it’s always the same, and the only thing that changes is us.

Hear me out, what if everything you get yourself into is really just the same thing as the last, but the only thing that changes is you, so it’s only different in your mind because your mind is different.

Maybe this whole shit is a simulation in the end game. We keep going through the same shit over and over and over again until we figure out the lesson we’re supposed to learn.

I heard somewhere that you attract what you think you deserve, and well, that could be true because every time I got heartbroken, I was convinced that I wasn’t deserving of what I had. I was always questioning myself, and my insecurities would get the best of me.

I didn’t practice communicating when I was a kid, so I just kept that trend. I guess it all stems back from speaking up and just being shut down. I don’t know where that stems from, but you know that cringe feeling you get when you think back to all the times you feel like you said something stupid, but in reality, you were thinking completely out of the box? I think that’s what scares the shit out of me. Sometimes I think outside the box, and it just seems weird to others. Not everyone’s going to understand that, and it’s okay; the key is that I don’t need anybody else to understand. It’s not a personal knock on me because I can’t control anybody else’s perceptions. The same goes for other’s fears; I can’t control what fucking scares others, so when someone tells me that whatever I’m doing seems excessive or brave, they’re just speaking from their experience, and that shit is none of my business.

So yea, back to my point about it always being the same shit, just a different mindset. Maybe we’ve heard all this before, and we didn’t listen back then. Now when we hear it all over again after a little experience with life, we hear it and feel it a little bit differently.

All I’ve learned is that it’s important to remember that you’re always going to be the person in charge of your own pathway.