Wasted Time

I struggle to remember something from my past that was not worth my time. I’ve gotten much better, and not looking back to wish I would’ve done something differently. I have great people around me that always try and put me back on track and ask me to focus strictly on putting in the effort for now.

Because that’s all we could really take control of, it sounds so cliche, and to hear someone else tell me that over and over again almost gets on my nerves. But those are the people I need to have in my life right now because I think the only thing keeping me grounded and not in the sky where I should be, is looking back and the past.

I’ve had great moments, and sometimes I wonder to myself how the fuck am I going to top this? I feel like my past accomplishments have defined me up until this point.

That’s just it, though. None of that is true. I do not get defined by my past accomplishments, and I don’t have to define myself by the mistakes I made back in the day. There’s not a need for me to hold onto all the feelings of despair and fear; they are not who I am anymore, and I have the option to put all that in the rearview mirror. There’s that really good quote by I forgot who, but it went something like, “there’s a reason the rearview mirror is so much smaller than the dashboard, you’re supposed to keep your eye on the road ahead versus what you’ve passed.

I may have done a lot of great accomplishments, and I may have made a bunch of mistakes, and I’ve hurt people, including myself, along the way. I don’t want to hang onto that anymore. I want to have the opportunity to start over daily. Each day is an opportunity to take what’s mine and accept what comes.

And that’s exactly how I’m going to live from here on out. Whatever comes, I’ll embrace the shit out of, and whatever goes, I’ll just let it go.