Enuff

At what point would you stop listening or feel uncomfortable once you receive a compliment?

That’s a question I’ve been thinking about for the last few days. It’s bugged the hell out of me because I don’t think I could keep a straight face with a compliment. Sure, it gives me a little boost of dopamine, but it’s one of those things where I’ll downplay whatever it might be. I think I might believe the things that aren’t true before I recognize a good compliment, probably only because I want my mind to think that I’m losing weight, just as an example.

The mind is crazy like that.

I don’t know how one is supposed to practice this whole receiving compliments kind of thing. I don’t know where this stems from, but I’ve concluded that I can’t be the only one.

My theory is that maybe I think I’m not enough or am not even in my final form. I’m a piece of work, to say the least, and I can’t see the good that others see in me because what I’ve done wrong comes to mind before the things I’ve done right.

It’s exhausting trying to please everyone because once you start trying to do that for so long, not only do you never get good at it, you begin to forget what the fuck pleases you. How often can you think back to enjoying a particular genre of music just because someone you liked was into that music? I can’t be the only one with a genre that reminds me of a specific person (or maybe a song in certain situations).

I’m enuff.

That’s what I’m working on believing going forward because right now, I don’t think that statement fits.