There was a point in my life where everything was a dream.

All the things I have now I was working my ass off to get. I saw myself with everything I have now. Yet, for whatever reason, I’ve stopped dreaming.

I can’t remember the last time I had a dream, even in my sleep. I wouldn’t even mind a nightmare at this point. At least I’d feel alive somehow.

The scariest part is I’m starting to forget what I dreamed about years ago.

Is there a way to practice dreaming? What about dreaming after you wake up. I can’t believe that this was my peak dream form, but I don’t remember what the fuck I wanted back then. The best way I can describe myself back then was just not being stagnant, and yet here I am going with the flow. The only thing that goes with the flow is a dead fish, I don’t remember who told me that, but I hope they’re good.

Does that happen to everyone? Is it worse to continue to dream and not work towards whatever it is you want? I can’t imagine having a dream and not working towards it.

Maybe I do have dreams, and maybe I’m just that fucking guy that stopped working toward his dream. How could I forget? What happens next? Am I wasting my time thinking about it? Maybe I am, but I wouldn’t mind continuing to dream about all that shit. I want to keep fucking up. I want to keep catching myself, thinking I could make improvements. I want to feel that feeling of “aw shit” because I’m doing something for the first time, and the chances are that I’m going to fucking suck the first time. At this point, I’ll even start settling for the “damn” feeling because I know that one wrong move can change my entire life. I want that shit.

I think I’m going to chase that from now on.