It tried; it really did.

Have you ever looked back on a situation thinking that the universe wanted to break something up, but the troubles you’ve had on your mind don’t seem to add up any longer?

Well, the universe has been speaking to me subtly lately.

I’ve learned a few things this past year, and one of the biggest things is that although the universe does a bunch of shit for me, it could care less what I do. Ultimately, it has a plan in place for me at the end of the day.

I can either listen and take the hints or keep doing what I love to do, which is doubt and asking for signs more evident than what I’m getting.

We’re all given tests, and the universe has been testing the shit out of me lately. When the tests get more complicated, it’s just to see if you’re ready to level up.

I’ve had many opportunities to level up, and based on the decisions I’ve made; I wasn’t prepared for any of that. Despite all the shit I talk about wanting to be happy, I seem to be the only one stopping myself from that very thing.

The pursuit of happiness seems like more of a damn hamster wheel than a walk through a maze. At least in a maze, I can feel like I’m making progress. In this current hamster wheel race, I’m pushing myself to exhaustion, trying to do the reach that ridiculously high bar I’ve set for myself.

I’m constantly chasing what’s right in arms reach.

I’m terrified of having everything I’ve ever wanted because it’s nothing I ever expected.