Can you imagine a life in which I didn’t hate you as much as I did?

The amount of time you’d spend running around in my mind? That’s probably up to 100 marathons now. I would’ve lost track.

I can’t think of a way I’d be able to live my life without hating you. I’d hate myself for doing anything other than hating you, if I’m honest.

Bear with me

I’d hate myself because how would I be convinced that I had a shot at more happiness having everything I ever thought I wanted?

That would only mean the checklist I had in my head was written by someone else and not by me.

And how would that look?

Letting others decide what I want and allowing you to switch up everything I ever worked towards.

Yea, I hate you because you have the quality that I hate the most in anything. That quality would be you were unexpected.

Now I’m out of my element, and how am I supposed to continue?

The universe didn’t prepare for me this, and that’s got to be my biggest frustration.

How was I supposed to react when I realized that I was so off track.

I hate you because, in this world, I can’t say what I would want to say.

Those words I’ll save for another day.