I hate to admit it, but I’m not sure I was in a good spot for a while. I’m not one to complain because I think I have just about everything that anybody else would want on the outside. The problem is that I think I made a few sacrifices for everyone else at the same time. That’s why I’m in the spot I’m in now. Maybe it wasn’t all worth it, and that sort of bums me out.

I’m not sure you can relate, but when I was younger, I knew friends who would do things they shouldn’t be doing on purpose or they were supposed to do something different. I purposely would want to do everything opposite of those friends. I wanted to do the things that everyone thought was the responsible piece. I wanted to be that guy that people would look at and say, “oh, really? You’ve never done that? Why? You’re the only person I know who hasn’t tried this!” So, it almost became my mission always to do the opposite of what everyone else was doing. It was easy to keep up in school. Most of my classmates were in the same social circle as me for the most part, or at least a similar social circle.

Now that I’m a little older, I figured out that I was playing a pretty dangerous game. I’m not sure why I didn’t do what I had the chance to do at a young age. Now, curiosity sort of messes me with more than regret. Regret’s kind of a big word. I’d still do everything the same, no doubt. However, curiosity is what has me thinking otherwise. That’s all.

I’m a bit hopeful that when I die and I get to meet our maker, I’ll be shown all the positive that came from the decisions I made.