As a dude, I think it’s easy for me to want to be scared of the typical things. I’ve been scared of committing, I’ve been scared of heights, and I’ve been scared of the occasional spider.

I’ve tried to conquer just about everything. I thought that conquering always meant never to fear it again, but I’m starting to doubt that.

I guess I never considered that it’d still be scary to look down from a tall building. Sitting down at a table makes that sound kind of weird because you figured if you’re up on a tall building, there must be a minimum risk of being hurt. You’re only scared of something going wrong, and I guess that’s what fear really is, but why does that shit scare me like that?

That’s just an example in this case. Heights to me is still a big fear, but I’ve gone skydiving, and I can do that shit again. It’s a choice at this point. Nobody can take away that I’ve already done that.

Do you know what’s one of those things that you can’t really take back, though? Commitment. That shit is scary as fuck, man. I think I conquer that like every other month and then boom. Thoughts start to come to mind that adds more fear.

One discussion or lack of discussion leads to that fear happening all over again. It almost seems easier not to try at times. Sure, you may be judged a bit, and it’d be a weird explanation that breakfast sandwiches would be the reason you give up (just an example, of course) on someone, but in your head, it just makes all the sense in the world.

When I first started writing this, I thought I’d have a simple answer on how to conquer these sorts of fears, but I think I’ve always ended up concluding with more questions. How do you move past this shit? Is that normal?