I think I can’t ever focus on the now because I’m always working on the next big thing in my life. I don’t even have one thing, and I’m already thinking about what’s next.

There are times where I can talk about where I see myself in the next 3-5 years, but I can’t figure out what I’ll be doing at the 6-month mark even. Let alone the one year or the two-year mark. I’m so prepared for what I want to get to, but I’ve been having trouble jotting down the current thing I should be doing. There are baby steps to just about everything. I’ve struggled to pay attention because my attention span is that of a goldfish.

I want to read all the books in my room, but I keep finding myself buying the next book that I’ve been recommended, and now I’m suddenly behind about 110 books. What’s that about, right?

I don’t know where to start, but I also can’t figure out what the end of the race looks like, and I think it’s impossible to be happy without figuring out those two concrete things. I need to do a better job of celebrating the success that I reach now while being patient and drawing out a concrete plan for what I should be doing later on. There’s no reason that I can’t do that.

I think I’ve started to figure these things out now; the items would be what I consider to be “the secrets to happiness.” I’m not sure they’re secrets anymore, based on all of the books I’ve been reading. Maybe everyone who can relate to what I’m saying just has a problem of being in denial, and it’s time we get ourselves out of that hole.