I’m not the same person I was a year ago.

I like to believe that I’m constantly evolving. I think that’s sort of bullshit at times. I try and tell myself this same statement more often than not because eventually, I think I’ll believe it.

I believe it now.

I can’t put my finger on what exactly it is that I’ve changed.

Maybe this slowing down has made me realize everything that I needed to discover. Now I have less time for distractions, but now I’m looking forward to the real test. How am I going to be once the slowing down stops?

Who am I going to be?

The same person I was before this all started? I certainly hope not.

That’s been my dilemma during this pandemic. I don’t think I ever was able to define what feeling anxious was like. Now more than ever, I’ve felt uneasy.

I had a vision for what I was going to be able to accomplish when this pandemic started. I could have sworn that I was going to be doing all of this growing and whatnot. I was going to finish the 50 books that I challenged myself to read this year. I was going to get started on that book that I’ve always wanted to write. I certainly thought that I’d be finished with chapter one by now. That hasn’t exactly been the case.

Now, I have work to do. I owe it to myself to put these goals of mine on a piece of paper and surround myself with people that help hold me accountable. No excuses.