Why You Should Have A “Take it or Leave It” Mindset

At some point, we have all been single, then someone comes in and appears to be great to start a relationship with. The first couple of messages and phone calls are usually exceptional because you just don’t know what to expect. The usual thoughts run through your mind; could this become something serious, or is this only a good time? Would I be embarrassed to bring her around the family, or would I just keep her around distant friends? Could I see myself getting married to her, or is it going to be a struggle to want to even take her out to dinner?

There are generally two approaches to this type of thinking. There can be only two options; you’re trying to move on from a relationship or just don’t care because you have had a pretty solid single life. Personally, I’ve been through both sides of the situation, and well, I could tell you with ONE HUNDRED PERCENTcertainty that I have enjoyed the latter the most. Meeting people during single times has been really enjoyable. Whether it works out for a bit, or it just doesn’t. It does not matter. The key is that I just don’t care. I don’t care whether someone decides to stick around and stay attractive to me. I don’t care if someone ends up dating someone else in the meantime. I don’t care if you want to rush into something serious. I JUST DO NOT CARE. Life goes on, and my life has been fantastic without this person before, and it won’t change because they decide not to stay around.

It’s a beautiful thing to not stress about potential relationships. Although many people will claim that this type of mindset is selfish, and maybe it really is. Still, it’s also really selfish to expect something serious with someone that may not really be looking for something like that yet. Neither party will benefit from that sort of pressure, because if you take a step back to get a different perspective, you should realize one of two things. One, you will just be forcing another party to do something they’re unsure of. Or two, you will only have the other party lose interest in you because you are looking for a relationship for a reason beyond mutual attraction. Just because you like to rush into things doesn’t mean the other party has to. 

It’s not being selfish; it’s just allowing whatever’s going to happen, happen.

If you think about it, most of what we do in our 20’s is forced upon us. We go to school because we are told we will have the opportunity to get a better job. We get a job because we have to be able to pay for our necessities. We become friends with people from work only because we work with them and wouldn’t have run into them any other way. In reality, these things are almost forced upon us. Whether it happens for a reason or not, it is something we have been taught that is beyond our control. The one power we have for our own is that we get to choose our actual romantic relationships. You shouldn’t feel forced to rush into a relationship just because someone has wronged the other person in the past and looking for something profound from the get-go. A relationship is absolutely serious (how much more serious can pre-married be?). For someone to be ready to jump ship with you should tell you that they haven’t thought it through and this is all about them. You may like them right now, but if you barely know them, how are you supposed to know if you want to bring them along with your oh so awesome life for good?

The next time I begin a relationship, I’ll wait until my brain communicates appropriately with my heart.

I’ve made a few mistakes that have nothing to do with anyone else in the past when I’ve rushed relationships. I call these mistakes because I’m a weird human being. Although I may like something now, I always question whatever it is later. Now, that doesn’t mean that I’m just putting up a wall by any means; it just means that I’m not going to begin a relationship with someone who I hardly really know. Don’t get me wrong, I will date you, and I will probably be ABSOLUTELY into you while we date, but give me time to figure out if this is what I want. Don’t rush. This goes for everyone; this method hasn’t been proven to be one hundred percent successful. I know there may not be any stats to back this up, but I know it doesn’t hurt to always just take your time with your decisions. We’ll see how things go.