Who would have thought that out of all places challenging to live, the most challenging to live in would be the moment? You would think that because supposedly, the older you get, the wiser you get, you’d be able to figure out how to master such a thing, but that’s not the case. You would think that because when you were first starting at this little thing called life, you were pretty solid at doing the damn thing, you’d be a master. But no. Something seems to happen at some point in time, which causes most of us to get away from living in the moment.

I sure as hell have not had a successful time living in the moment.

I’ll tell you about the times I was able to, though. Those were some of my most significant moments of all time. Sometimes, they may not even be the moments I’m more excited about sharing with my friends and family. They don’t even make for good stories to tell at the campfires. One thing that they do is help me when I want to escape from my thoughts; that’s what those memories do for me. The times in which I lived with no worry about anything else other than what I was doing, I look back on those moments and breathe. I guess you can call them my “woosah” moments.

As I said, I don’t have too many of those, but there are a few. I don’t know how to get better at having those. I guess I should start by quitting the idea of always having to do something more productive than what I’m doing. I feel like a fraud about it anyways. I’ve wanted to do so much more in the past few months during this pandemic, but I feel like I’m not doing shit. There should be more time to sit and relax without the thought of what’s next, but that moment seems to be the first one pushed back for other non-essential things.

It’s time for a change in how I start processing things, and maybe it should start with just avoiding everything and everyone that doesn’t bring me that piece and becoming the person who doesn’t let anything stop me from these times. We’ll see how it goes.