Sometimes I kept thinking I was getting weaker as I was getting older. I felt like I was becoming less of the person I wanted to become. What I’ve started to realize is that I’ve become a lot more aware, and the gift that comes with becoming more mindful is that I now recognize the opportunities I had when I was coming up. There were a bunch of things I could’ve done a bit differently. I would’ve avoided a lot of time if I knew what I knew now.

Now my job is to teach everything I should’ve learned to everyone else. I’m not the smartest 28-year-old you’ll ever meet, but I’m on my way.

My hero is 30-year-old me going forward. I’m on my way to get to who I want to be. I’m starting to put myself under pressure, and you know what comes from that, diamonds.

I have never put myself in pressure. I’ve never woken up thinking that someone was taking my dreams from me. I’ve never wanted something so badly that it kept me up.

That needs to change as of today. I should be the one that can’t sleep without dreaming of my goals. I want to have my goals on my mind so often that everything I do is for it. I should be going wild, thinking about everything. I should have a notebook with me at all times so I can write all the things that come to my mind. I should be writing everything that I can.

I should be conscious of all the time I waste. I should be aware of every second I’m not productive. I should be understanding of why I feel I have to distract myself with nonsense before I focus on the progress. The progress scares the shit out of me.

I don’t even know what the fuck I’m writing about now and then anymore. That scares the fuck out of me. I never would’ve pictured me writing so much. Now I don’t know how to clean up the mess that I’ve made inside of my fucking brain. I can’t afford to have more things in my head. It fucking sucks. There’s so much there.

Where do I start if I decide I want to start cleaning that shit up?