I have a lot of inconsistencies. I’m still working hard on me. I know I can be a little critical of everyone around me when I’m trying to level up. I want to do so well that I wish to the rest of my circle to pick up their slack too. I know it should never come from anything outside of yourself, but I want to be that person that helps wake up that inner beast from everyone as if it’s easy like walking into a room and just flipping the switch to turn the light on. I understand it’s not that easy, but I want it to be. Why can’t it be?

I get it; this doesn’t reflect something genuine coming from anybody. Shoot, it doesn’t always help me in the right way, but I can assure you that it stays in my head and makes me want to work that much harder than the next person.

Lately, I’ve been trying to work so hard because I fear like someone is waking up with a mission to take it all from me. I legitimately don’t know why I would think that, but I do. It motivates the hell out of me to believe this. I’ve worked so damn hard to get to this point in my life that I don’t want to go back and just settle. I got her because I’ve always had this crazy mindset that I haven’t done enough. Just when everyone else thought that I had no second shift, I turn it to this entirely different and better third shift.

Then I hit the speed bumps, and I lose a little bit of control. I think I’ve been hit with a lot more speed bumps in the last few years that have tried to bring me back down to earth and give me that wakeup call. I’ve had to remind myself that they are just that, speed bumps. I can overcome, and to be fair, I think I have. It’s like this lightbulb that just went off, and I think I’ve figured it out. I guess a better comparison could be that campfire that’s just about to start, but you have to figure out how to keep the fire going. That’s where I’m at right now. The sparks have begun, and I’m starting to get there, but I’m just barely starting to get that feeling of warmth, and now I’m not going to stop until I get the whole damn campfire going.

I’ve been inconsistent with many things, but I think this is when I put a stop to that.