At what age did you realize that your parents were still growing up?

I don’t think I came to that conclusion until I was older. I never thought of my parents as anything outside of parental figures. In my head, they still had it all figured out, and the issues that they went through were just issues that every married couple went through. Their journey was the journey that almost everybody would have to go through once they get married. I didn’t realize that they still had to build their character when I was born. I was 22 when that thought came to my mind. I had a drink with my pops, and I brought up that I was the same age as him when I was born. That must’ve been the most challenging thought that ever came to my head. I just looked at him and asked, “how the hell did you do it at this age?”

His response was so simple. He just said he was on the wrong path and that I was his reason not to go that way. I was the reason he needed to get his shit together and quit making excuses. Now, that didn’t stop him from making excuses all together; he just stopped making as many when I was born.

My dad is and always has been an OG. He tried to shield me from the bad things that were happening in the world and wanted to keep his figure of not making critical mistakes with me, probably for two reasons; one, to make sure he wouldn’t hurt his ego and two, for making sure that I wouldn’t think any less of him.

Now, I’d be lying if I knew what I knew now without judging my pops at that age, so I can understand how those mistakes were mistakes he never wanted to admit out loud. I spend time wondering about it now, and I think as to how difficult it must be to let your kids know you don’t know it all, and you’ve been kind of winging it the entire time.

How would I react when my kid brings me C grades. My parents never had the chance to graduate high school, so they knew they had to keep putting pressure on me so I could get accepted into college. They didn’t know that I could very well have been a B student, and I would’ve been fine. They never asked me what my favorite class was to help me excel in whatever that would’ve been. They asked that I put the maximum effort in every category, especially the classes I did not like to get a higher grade. Looking back, that doesn’t seem too logical at this point. Of course, in hindsight, that looks a little more obvious now, but I could understand their logic and am grateful for the push I always received from them.

I guess the questions I’m not sure I’m ready for when my first child comes into the world is; when will I tell them that I don’t know everything? When will I want them to understand that I make mistakes all the time? When will I tell them that I have no idea what they should do with their lives because if they only go based on my advice, I may lead them down the wrong path and not THEIR way? This whole being a parent thing seems complicated, and I’m nowhere near being close to having one. Will I chill out once it happens or…