I’m not sure when this all started, but ever since I can remember, I thought it was my job to save everyone. I thought I was Spider-Man. Maybe I wasn’t going to be the person who was going to beat off all the bad guys that came from other planets, but it was my job to save the ones that had their own smaller problems.
My superpower of choice was just my words.
I don’t have super strength or anything like that to where I can do much else, but listening and talking, I thought, was my superpower.
I’ve been wrong.
I don’t listen well; I thought I did.
I don’t even speak well; I thought I did that even better.
There are times where I hear what the next person is saying, but I’m not paying attention.
The issue is that I’ve always had an idea of what saving someone would look like, and it hasn’t matched up to my thoughts. Most times, I thought I’d be saving them from the beliefs that hold them back.
I would see the next person with the highest amount of potential and only see them for that. I never paid attention to the red flags about why they are in the situation that they are in and how they got there in the first place. I would try and save the people around me from their comfort. I thought that there was no worse place to be in than the comfort zone.
It turns out that not everyone thinks the same way as me. I have proof that I flat out have chosen not to listen.
I think that for me to be a good speaker, I have to be a good listener, and since I haven’t done the latter so well, I think that’s where my whole theory of being a superhero is flawed.
I have been trying to save people from themselves into something that I think would be the best for them, but it turns out I don’t always have the answer.
The more significant point behind this is that I don’t feel I’ve rescued anybody from themselves, at least not to this point, I think. I’ve failed multiple times, and at this point, I may just have to call it quits and only focus on saving myself.
I’ve concluded that I’ve spent so much time focusing on everyone else around me that I neglect the work I need to put in for myself.
I’m not sure it’s going to be simple to the point where I can just quit trying to save everyone, maybe there’s a different approach.
I’m hardheaded, even though I want to quit focusing on those around me that I care about, I still will not.
I guess it’s just time to put all of the focus on the work that I want to do, and if my circle doesn’t want to keep up, it’s no longer on them, it’s on me to make decisions if I want to stick around.
I don’t want the life that everyone has around them. I understand that routines are a part of life, and there will come a day where having a family will ask that of me. I think there just has to be more to life than being tired and quitting. I say that because I was there at some point, and I don’t ever want to be there again.