I think that I’ve seen issues that everyone else has run into during the quarantine, and that is that I have figured out that I have so much time on my hands. Frankly, I’m not exactly sure where this time was being spent before the shutdown, but I have realized that it was a significant amount of time that I got used to wasting.
By no means am I implying that I am spending all of the time in the world in a super productive manner. I’m not. Instead, I feel like now I’ve become “woke” to the fact that I have all of this time to change whatever the hell it is in my life, yet the same things continue to happen. I feel just like I have so much momentum, but I’m almost prepared to lose it.
It’s not a good feeling.
I’ve done my best to stay focused, but I think that even that intent needs even more attention because I am just starting. I’ve heard before that right before a significant breakthrough, the feeling of resistance grows. I’m torn between learning how to rest and learning how to work harder than I have ever worked. Those two things don’t go well together.
During this pandemic, I’ve learned how the beginner steps of how to set up my camera. I’ve learned very basic French, but enough to get around in a major city. I’ve also learned more or less how I can invest my money. Those are three skills I did not even know I wanted to determine when this whole pandemic started. The fact of the matter is that I continue to learn new skills and add more hobbies to my arsenal, but I’ve yet to master at least one.
I want that to be my next plan. I am mastering something. I want to be able to perfect it so much that I won’t second guess that I’m doing well in this area of life. I have no clue what that could be right now, but it’ll happen soon enough. That’s a promise.