Too many times have I heard the excuse that a bad habit ran in the family.

I’m retiring that statement with me. If my future kids will have something to look forward to, it’ll be that I’m looking forward to passing on only positive habits.

I used to use the phrase, “well, it ran in the family, so it would only make sense” often. It would be my excuse for my negative traits all the time.
I chose not to stay in a long-term relationship because I didn’t want to get married young and have kids at a younger age like my pops. I wanted to make sure I got some of my mistakes out of the way because, in my head, it was practically inevitable.
I’ve tried to excuse some of my negative traits, such as not speaking up like my father and grandfather. I thought I would forgive myself for these negative characteristics.
I used to think that I couldn’t have a respectful discussion without raising my voice because it wasn’t a common thing in the family. We were used to raising our voices as if to stop the next person from ever getting a word in.
I used to think that I couldn’t stop using cuss words because, ultimately, I don’t know the last time I heard my dad be angry and not use a cuss word.
All of these things I did because I thought it just ran in the family, and there was nothing else I could do to stop it.
It stops now.
The thing is that the title of this post is “It RAN in the family” because I know that it’s still a choice. I’m not forced by anybody to continue the habits that have passed on from generations, and ultimately, I don’t have to have the same weak moments that they had. I’m able to learn from these mistakes at all times.
My old-man use to tell me this all the time as a kid, “you have to be better than me in every aspect.” All I wanted to do was be like my dad; mistakes aside. Although others may expect it, I’ve decided against these expectations.
I’ve always wanted to be the first in so many things. When I graduated high school, I would be the first to graduate with honors. I would be the first to fix my parent’s residency situation. I would be the first to travel out of my town by myself.
There are still more “firsts” I can even fit in, but I guess I never thought I’d fit the narrative. It wasn’t possible because the mistakes have haunted my father and his father before that, would eventually all catch up to me again.
Just a reminder that your past or anybody’s past should never define who you are or what you will become. I think I’m starting to understand that a little more every time.