Trapped.

Even though I like to consider myself free, I feel I’m a prisoner of my thoughts.
My thoughts make me believe that I can’t do anything.
The same thoughts that make me believe that I cannot fail.
My mind is always in a constant battle with itself, and I can only stand as a spectator, watching the arguments go back and forth.
One hand considers itself to be a realist, and the other hand considers itself to be a dreamer.
I don’t know which side I’d rather have most times.
My realist side hates when I hear others be so free with their dreamer thoughts.
How amazing would it be not to have thoughts that hold you back?
How great would it be if you could figure out the cheat code to life in which you only support and give yourself motivation instead of being the person who fills yourself up with doubt?
I don’t think I’ve been very good at supporting those types of mindsets, yet I want to be on that mindset so often.
Maybe I was raised this way. Or perhaps it’s just from experience.
Maybe I’ve failed at too many things, and I wasn’t even close on some occasions.
I just have a deep fear of rejection, and I cringe at all the times when someone didn’t appreciate or pay attention to the hard work I’ve put into some sort of project.
I’m not exactly the kind of person that always needs recognition for the things I’m doing right, but there are times where that doesn’t hurt my morale.
I want to be recognized for the things I do well, but I choose not to look for it.
These are just some of the thoughts that make me feel like I can’t escape.
These same thoughts are the ones that hold me back from accomplishing my wildest dreams. The dreams that sound silly to anybody else.
The dreams that could be my “personal legend.”
Like most cases, I seem to be the only person holding myself back.
I look forward to the day in which I won’t feel so trapped.