To My Two-Year-Old, 

Hey baby. Congratulations on turning two. I can imagine how overwhelmed you must be feeling, trust me, and I’m probably feeling overwhelmed myself. I’ve done a little bit of studying to understand what you must be going through, and while I can’t be 100% sure, I can at least go by what the experts say. 

You’re currently going through the motions of still developing physical traits. Of course, that won’t stop until you get a lot older. Hopefully, you don’t get my short genes. Not that it matters, you’d still be able to do everything everyone else can do and trust me, finding your shoe size will be easier than those weird tall people (sorry if you turn out to be tall, baby). The experts say you should be jumping on your own now, at least partially. You can walk up and down stairs using the railing.

You can also start eating on your own for the most part. They say these are the “terrible” years, but I’m looking forward to it. I’m going to want to record everything you’re doing because I want to prove to you just how much of a brat you were at this age.

At this age, we’re going to find out if you have any speech opportunities. I almost doubt it, as dad likes to talk a lot, and I’ll be keeping you busy with all of my stories. I may even take advantage and tell you the inappropriate ones since you can’t understand, and supposedly you won’t remember. I’ll take my chances.

I’ve read that you’re also going to be pickier about your food going forward. The doctors say that I shouldn’t be fighting with you too much about what to eat and start getting you into the habit of eating healthier. I’ve also read that you may not accept new food, but I hope you can make an exception for pizza and tacos. If you’re anything like me, you’ll love both.

I’ve read a few places that this is the age where you’re going to have a tough time understanding your emotions, I wonder how much you’ll be like this in your teenage years too, so mom and I will keep you posted on how this goes and what the trends will be. You’re probably going to have a tough time sharing your toys and all that, but I’ll make sure to practice sharing with your mom and your uncles so I can lead you by example.

I promise I’ll do my best not to spoil you because that might be a bad habit you’ll need to break once you get older, but I can’t make any promises. I’m looking forward to all of these challenges with you, and I promise to keep speaking to you like an adult, but I will make sure to play with you like the kid that you are.

I will do all the things that I never got the chance to do like a kid, so if you decide to color on the walls, go for it. I’ll paint them white just for you to do your best work. If you want to run in the mud, I’ll make sure to jump in there with my suit and tie if needed. If you decide you want to sleep on the bed with mom and me, I’ll probably sleep on the floor at this point. I move around in my sleep, but I’ll gladly give you my spot if that’s what’ll make you happy.

I’ll make sure to take you to Disneyland to see Mickey and Friends (I hope you like them during this time) and if you cry when you see Mickey, I’ll make sure to take all the pictures in the world because you deserve to see them when you get older. I will show you the cartoons that I watched as a kid, and hopefully, we can get good at singing “I Just Can’t-Wait To Be King” at the top of our lungs. I don’t know if TikTok will still be a thing when you’re two, but we’ll make all of those videos so you can share them and go trending later on when you’re a teenager.

I love you so much, baby! Welcome to your terrible twos.