I always wonder if my decisions are the right decisions. I can be pretty indecisive at the end of the day.

That’s probably an understatement.
I think one of the things that I forget, is that every decision we make is the one that is leading us closer to the next one.
Have you heard that expression from “How I Met Your Mother”?
The one about the mistakes.
That sometimes even though you know something is a mistake you still have to make it to find out if it was a mistake.
That’s kind of how it is when you start thinking about making the right decisions.
Even the wrong decisions bring you one step closer to the right decision.
I think I’ve figured out that you never will be 100% sure if the decision you’re making is the right one.
Because even if you make the right decision you can still follow that up by making decisions that will not be “the right ones”.
You’ve just got to keep it pushing.
At the end of the day, I have to admit that this is what terrifies me the most.
One day, standing up at my main table, prepared to give a toast at my wedding, thanking everyone for attending, and looking over at my wife thinking to myself that everything is how it should be.
Even then, how often do we hear about people having that wedding where they were just so happy then years down the road they’re trying to break down where it all went wrong.
That’s the scary part.
I used to be the kid who judged the parents that weren’t together anymore.
I used to be the kid who would claim that I would be the most faithful and loyal boyfriend/husband ever.
Now, I’m the most indecisive person I know and I can’t seem to get it together on most days.
The more I try and understand myself, the more I hate me.
I guess that’s what growth is all about.
Continuing to try and find those things that I need to do a better job at.
The shitty part is that the list continues to just grow.
That’s growth though. (At least that’s what I’ve read)
Growth doesn’t mean you change one thing and stop right there, no, you keep going, and you just keep on improving.
It doesn’t ever really stop.
That’s beautiful and terrifying, all at the same time.