I just need a hug.

I’m never one to complain, but this whole pandemic thing is exhausting. Having the thought that I should have all of this extra time to do extra stuff, but not really having it. Doing an essential workers duty, but knowing I could do so much more. I know it all depends on perspective and there are a ton of people who would love to be in my role, but I just want to do more. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful for EVERYTHING. It’s just tiring to always carry the weight of my own pressure while raising the bar for how one should act during this sort of situation. This is nobody else’s fault but myself, but I can’t help it. I don’t want to change, I just know that the sun will rise again and I’ll get a chance of resting up enough to refuel myself back to my old self, I guess I just want to read back on this one day and hope that I’ll be a better person when all of this is over. I don’t want to hold off on taking chances and risking my comfort for whatever it was. I want to achieve the dream I’ve always dreamed of and I only want to surround myself with like-minded people that are trying to do better for themselves and those around them. I want a challenge. I want no comfort. I want to choose to say “fuck yea” for everything I decide to do.

But again, for now I’ll just settle for a damn hug.