I’ve realized that I have a problem. I don’t ask for help. Why? I really can’t answer that. It might just be because I’m a dude, it could also be that it has to do with the Mexican blood I have, or it could just be completely on me. Point is that it doesn’t matter.

My earliest memory of not asking for help comes from that feeling of achieving something on my own. I loved showing my parents that I could get something done on my own. That feeling of pride was the greatest feeling. It almost became a rush. At the same time, I remember being the oldest kid in my house, I learned most of my hip stuff from Nickelodeon shows and that didn’t really work out every time. When it came to tying my shoes, I relied on everyone else to help me. I got so used to getting help, that I never bothered to learn how to actually tie my own shoes. It wasn’t until I was in the 1st grade and I still acted like I didn’t know how to do it and a friend (so called friend, that jerk, lol) made fun of me for not knowing. I went home that day and practiced. I practiced so much I practically traumatized myself. Another time that comes to mind is when my pops tried to show me how to tie a tie. Obviously, it took me a lot of practice, but I remember my pops getting upset with me with not getting it right after a few tries. I blew up on him at 15 and locked myself in my room. I was the best damn kid at tying ties when I was in high school after that. My point is, these are the times I think of when I think as to why I’m so bad at asking for help. Now, there are times where I absolutely should have asked for help, but never did. Here ya go.

1. I never asked for help on how to ask a girl out. I could have asked my pops or my mom. I was too embarrassed to ask them. I could have asked my older cousin, but I didn’t want to seem like a loser. It took me 16 years to make a move and that was probably just by accident.

2. I never asked how to make a budget. Working at 16 and not having any bills other than my phone bill I should have been able to save plenty of dough.

3. How to fill out a resume or how to conduct myself at an interview. I had to learn that all on my own and it took me forever. I figured it out, but asking probably would’ve saved me weeks and cringy memories when I would apply just about anywhere the summer before I turned 16.

4. I never learned how to dance. I just did what I saw and now that I think about it, I was (am) stiff as a mf. Asking for help would’ve helped.

5. I never asked if I could make it into out of state colleges and universities. I probably could have. I’m a smart cookie and I had time. I wasted four years of trying to overachieve by putting myself into advanced courses with lackluster effort.

While these are only five examples of me not asking for help, there are plenty of other times that I wish I would’ve asked for help sooner or at all. Now, I put myself in a position to help others as much as I possibly can, especially in these categories. As a person who was too embarrassed to ask for help, I can tell you that being strong and prideful is overrated. Ask for help, please. There are people out there that are always willing to put you on the game, you just have to ask.

Asking and accepting help is only for the courageous and it’s a form of self-love, so make sure you do everything possible to help yourself out.