I hope one day you find the love that I could only show you glimpses of.

While it’ll probably be tough to find anyone with a sense of humor like me (let’s face it, I’m funny) I have zero doubts in my head that you will find someone to give you everything I did not.

Maybe it’s my ego talking, but I always go into relationships thinking that this could be the one. While I was waaaaaay off on some that it seems like a joke, there are other relationships that just seemed so right at the time, but that was really only in my head. I’m a firm believer in not wasting my own time and I know it probably seems I have for some time, I never meant to do that.

I probably owe you an apology for making you believe that I was the most attentive guy one day and then switch it up on you the next day. Frankly, I couldn’t help it. My mind is always working at 1000 miles per hour and I can’t stop it. I could be thinking of you so much at 2pm when I had no business missing you and then it be 2am with a glass of wine scrolling through Instagram caring less.

One could even say I would owe you an apology for ruining your roster at the time by hyping things up to be more than they were by listening to all of your problems and trying to fix everything with dinner or a hot coffee. Or maybe just the fact that I hyped you up so much that you probably thought you were untouchable, just for me to bring you down later with a statement telling you how I do miss my ex-girlfriend so much. I probably owe you an apology for acting like saying that made me a good guy instead of just avoiding saying that sort of truth.

I probably really owe you an apology for going to your house to break up just because I wanted to be brave and show face. Only to tell you that I was too young to be settling down and even if I liked Apple Jacks as my first taste of cereal, I wanted to know how Kix or Frosted Flakes tasted before I settle on Apple Jacks.

More importantly, I probably owe you an apology just for wasting so much of your time. At some point, my head just doesn’t know what it’s doing until it’s actually doing the damn thing. I never meant to hurt anybody, I really mean it.

So, I guess I’m sorry. More importantly, I hope you’re good and wish you the best.

-Christian

PS: I’m not really sorry.