I can’t be the only one who has some negative jokes every now and then. You know, sometimes you hold the door open for the elderly person and then they don’t say thanks so you’re sort of like, “I should’ve shut that shit on them”. How about when you do something nice for a co-worker, but they don’t even realize you’ve done it for them? Do you ever have that, “well fuck them”, type of mentality afterwards? If I’m being really honest, there’s even times that I hear people talk with good intentions and just think to myself that they’re such an idiot and smile to them afterwards. In my defense, I think this is a part of office politics at times, and I don’t enjoy feeling this way. It’s something I’ve been actively working on for quite some time and I still catch myself trying to avoid these thoughts going forward.

When I was younger, I used to lie pretty frequently just to avoid hurting others. I think I even was narcissistic to some degree. While I’m not proud of this either, I think it’s a good opportunity for me to share just how a narcissistic individual really goes about his business.

For starters, a narcissistic individual will almost always ensure that he covers his tracks and has an alibi for wherever he’s at, or whatever he’s doing. He’ll be super blunt about the truth because he wants to ensure that the person can’t say that he wasn’t at least honest. A narcissist dude would use hypotheticals to get reactions for future reference, then use the hypothetical responses you gave against you later on. Sadly, these are a few of the things I used to do myself. I’d like to believe that I’ve been able to control my ego from taking over everything. My mind still sometimes has these egocentric thoughts, but I’m able figure it out before I act.
I guess that I can just start with the challenge of being better than what I used to be.