I remember someone once telling me that you’ve never really experienced heartbreak up until you start listening to country music late at night. I’ve only had a little bit of experience with country music now, but that person was absolutely right. One night, I sat up thinking about which kind of heartbreak is the worst kind of heartbreak, the one where your heart gets broken from someone doing something to you, or the one where you break the person you love’s heart?

The country music I follow is mostly about the latter, in which the person singing hurt the wrong girl and is now regretting each of their action, followed by it being too late to fix anything. As I said before, I’ve experienced both in my young life. Let’s recap.

In high school I felt the heartbreak of my first girlfriend dating another guy and me seeing it happen. Afterwards I became so salty, but I dated again, only to have the next girlfriend take advantage of my kindness and play the game. I can’t blame either of these two woman in my life, I still had a lot to learn and growing up to do. That heartbreak sucked. Just thinking about how much unnecessary (in hindsight) tears that were cried at that time is embarrassing. I remember hearing so many R&B songs at the time which talked about drinking to forget the person that I even tried that like twice, only to be surprised by the massive sickness afterwards. Oh, and that hangover? It felt almost deadly. They don’t emphasize that in the R&B songs as much as they should. Thankfully that wasn’t a practice I kept going forward, but I definitely learned my lesson.

After those two specific lessons, I dated who I think is the right one, otherwise known as, “the one”. While we dated and were cheesy and happy as can be, I was in denial that one could keep this happiness going for the rest of my years. So I stopped trying. Having that conversation was probably the worst time of my life and one of the biggest question marks in my life at this point. I learned a lot by doing that and grew up in many ways (that’s a different story) after that, so I guess I wouldn’t say I regret it, but that was more than likely the greatest heartbreak I’ve ever felt. I remember vividly how much I cried after coming home from that conversation. Imagine telling someone that you love and more importantly someone that loves you more than almost anyone will EVER that you don’t know if this is the right time and seeing their reaction to it. Devastating to say the least.

What do you think? What’s worse? Breaking someone’s heart that you shouldn’t, or getting your heart broken? Overall, not at the moment. Why?