Being crazy isn’t enough.

-Dr. Seuss

When I look back at all the things that have been memorable and fun in my life, I think of the times that I thought that whatever I was doing was crazy before doing it. Times including the time I went skydiving, or when I made the first move for the first time dropping that girl off at her house on Halloween, or just simply signing up for that marathon. Those are some of the craziest things I’ve done when I look back on a few things, but I can’t fathom a time in which I would regret those decisions. My only regret is that I have not done more of those crazy things.

I’ve put so much focus on trying to do things mistake free and without failure that I’ve missed chances of continuing to be crazy. Why is that? I can’t understand it. I realize that I’ve had some of the best moments hindsight by being crazy, but here I am. These last few years for me have been insanely tough for me. I’ve struggled with many personal challenges including, relationship issues, family issues, and work issues. What I’ve noticed throughout these few years is that I’ve been playing it safe. Imagine for a second thinking that you’re working most of your life just to be where you are and getting what you thought you always wanted just to not be satisfied. I remember hearing the phrase, “your greatest threat to success is your current success.” I’ve played it safe so often in my life and while I’m writing this I’m noticing that fact. I’m the issue and nobody around me is blame for my issue.

I’m a week into finishing my PR in my second half-marathon. My palms are currently sweaty because I’m listening to a podcast with Joe Rogan with his guest, David Goggins. I’m pensive about my full marathon that I have scheduled in January. I don’t think I’m ready. I’m completely uncomfortable with the thought of completing this race, but I’m looking forward to it now as I write this. I’ve become civilized. I was so used to hearing the phrase, “you’re so young to be doing this and doing that” that I let it get to my head. I think I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again, I can never picture myself living past the age of 50 and I don’t mean it to sound depressing, but I’ve always assumed that I’d be proud of whatever I’m doing by that time. I am turning my life over as soon as possible starting now. We all have the capacity to stop being civilized and not give into the thoughts that tell us that something is too difficult, that we’re too young to do this, or that nobody else is doing that anymore.

I guess my point is, if you have something that you’re scared of doing because of either failure or whatever your personal reason is, just do it. Fuck it. Get to it. Go to bed. Wake up. Find your fear and chase it. As David Goggins would say, “stay hard.”